Aja's Serenity

I'm ashamed to see what the world has become. It's a shame to know that things will only get worse. We all are chasing after things that only help in our destruction. This we will learn the hard way. Being a part of this generation isn't something I'm proud of because each day society tells me who I am supposed to be and I conform to it because I stand no chance of fighting alone. Beauty standards are thrown in my face, and oppression and segregation remind me that even though I walk freely I don't belong. This generation has a lot to say, this generation certainly isn't quit. I hate to only highlight the bad but just because there is still good happening doesn't mean we ignore the bad.  Life once meant a lot to some people now the whole concept is disposable. What does life mean to you, not just your own but others? Let's face it our hearts aren't clean and we aren't all willing to go down with someone at our expense. Children are dying. Mothe...

It's funny how I'm starting to realize that everything does happen for a reason. Our pain meant something. It did something to us, something life-changing. I lost her, which was supposed to be the most painful thing came full circle as I found myself. I owe that to her. This isn't just another love story it's real life depicted through heartbreak and a love that faded away. Our love broke us for the best not for the worst as we thought at the moment. Knowing what I know now I would tell myself don't change a thing. If I've learned anything in the past years it's that time can heal all wounds if you let it. I'll never forget the girl that took a chance on me. The same girl that chose me after I gave her a million reasons not to. I'll never forget her smile, her laughter, her warm embrace, and our need for each other. Plenty of time has gone by and still, she holds my memory. Not all of it just a part. We were young and thought we knew it all but only ...

Nothing is really ever that simple. Some things aren't that easy to get over or work through. Healing is a process that can't be rushed even when you lie to yourself. It's been 3 months now since we've interacted and our distance is killing me. At first, I thought I had a plan but I've sunk right back to the beginning where it all hurts. Maybe this is what it felt like for her. Maybe this is the moment when I feel things that weren't there before. My weeping eyes can be seen from a mile. Every night I close my eyes and she's plastered in my sight. Not by choice. She seems happier and I'm grateful for that but I'm lost and my judgment is clouded. And I possibly want her back. Why am I so conceited? Why am I so confused? 3 months ago I wasn't happy but I was relieved that my sense of freedom was salvaged and now I'm struggling to find my purpose. I'm trying to find a world where it's just me and I'm spinning in circles. I had a plan...

I've finally accepted the simple truth that we can survive without each other, I just needed to push. Although the love I had for you was there it went away and I'm no longer guilty for feeling this way. Love is definitely a tragic end game when people who are perfect for each other meet at the wrong time and it ruins their thoughts on love. I was in the wrong for holding unto something that wasn't there hoping it would reappear. You were wrong for simply loving me when I didn't love you back. Life is a continuous cycle that waits for no one to catch up and even though it might be hard to accept it's better to believe now than later. My smile is much brighter knowing the burden of you no longer lingers. My happiness isn't fully regained knowing I took a piece of you with me. My heart aches thinking back at who I chose to be. Who we chose to be. How I treated you is my only regret because you pulled me in and I kept surrendering when I should have cut the cable l...

They say when you find someone who's special you shouldn't let them go instead you hold them close and make them yours forever. In the beginning, all I wanted was her and now what I want more than anything is to escape. No one really gives a crash course on teenage love and how to walk away unscathed. When I look into her eyes all I see is pure emphatic love for me. When I look within myself I no longer recognize the person I used to be. My love for her has long passed but I'm holding it all together for her while it's tearing me apart. I wish it was easy to walk away but it isn't. We aren't working but she refuses to accept it. I just hope us trying doesn't blow up in my face.  She deserves the world and I use to want to be the one who was going to give it to her. But my heart stopped. Built-up tension caused me to want to let go. How do I tell someone that I don't intend to hurt that I give up? I feel like that would destroy her. She envisions the futu...

What do you call someone who has a heart that's fragile like glass and a mind with a racing pulse? Probably someone named Noah.  He had the sweetest heart that many took advantage of both knowingly and unknowingly. Even though he knew he was being used he wanted to help someone who was just as much in a rut as him. Always one step ahead ready to show kindness.  I secretly loved him as he wasn't someone anyone could openly love, only in secret. I wish he told the world about all the great plans he had because then maybe someone could have saved him knowing his future was filled with promising adventures. His smile grew crowds, everyone wanted to sit with him and pick his pocket. And for sure he welcomed them in and allowed them to steal from him. This was not his kindness but his inability to understand that some people can never change. He didn't see it as them taking advantage or stealing he saw them for all that they didn't have and thought since he had more than enou...