Whoever it might concern.

 All the things I wish I could say

To whomever, it may concern

I'm drowning not like I used to but I'm falling under the tides, in hopes that my saving grace will relinquish my distress. I no longer walk on solid grounds instead I walk on eggshells hoping I won't offend. Yes, I'm the same girl with the bright smile and welcoming arms that allow others to break her down. Yes, I'm the same girl who won't take no for an answer.  Even though I'm breaking inside I somehow cover up all my scars and replace them with loud laughter. Some things aren't always as it seems. And aren't easy to get over. 

Whatever you've done to me I won't forget. My mind will make sure that your mishap stares me right in the face and convince me that I somehow was in the wrong. While others would be ashamed to admit the simple truth that we don't have this life figured out and were just trying to live I don't mind coming clean about that. Every day I wonder how I make it to the next because yesterday's traumas hurt more than the ones of the present. I look around me and all I see are superficial people arguing about all the wrong things. Saying all the things we want to hear. And deceiving us of our current reality. 

Would this world miss me if I were gone? Have I made enough of an impact to think I'm worthy of being remembered? Crying easily has now become my downfall when before it took a million stones to tear me down. I look in the mirror and question myself, judge what I see does that mean I've now become immune to society's standards? Most days I'm scared of the person I'm becoming. Scared that I'm starting to lose myself. I'm tired of acting as if I'm okay truth is I'm falling apart.

So this is for whoever it might concern.
This girl is broken, she's wearing a mask to portray one story, "Happiness". When she says she's okay it's a lie. Don't stop asking just give her time to break the walls down.

Who knows? Today you might have saved her from herself.

 


       

Written by Aja' Allen

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