Narcissistic Personality.
Everyone walks out, you won't be the first one. You walking out won't have any effect on me. The door's to the far left don't let it hit you on the way out. Many will come craving and seeking for me to give them attention and I'll fill them up.
I don't care who I might or seem to be to you when you have as much power as I do you'll realize just how little self-gratification goes.
Ecstasy is the drug that's persistent, always seeking its way in. That's me with a warm bright smile that welcomes you in.
I sometimes fake my laughter to emphasize how ridiculous conversations are. Speaking is so overrated. All I need is to be seen and somehow I captivate the world with all my beauty. Wherever I walk people follow I don't ever stop them why would I. They chant my name and every time it feels like I'm overdosing I can't get enough of it.
I love the chase and everyone knows it. She loved that I chased her but soon she realized that once caught there's no leaving me. She loves me but hopes to deny it. I don't love her, just the game we're playing. I often find it funny when people say I trap doves and treat them like slaves. Who is to be blamed? The dove who walked willingly into my trap, all I did was welcome it in. How dare she request a place in my heart has she not realized that I love her not! Every day she cries hoping I will somehow wipe her tears and replace her drowned-out smile with laughter.
These days she's now begun to be a pest to me. And even though I adore her and want her all for myself, how much of this pity will she try to pray on me? Her screams grow louder by the day and it's not by pleasure. Yes, here I am being deprived of sounds needed elsewhere. It is wrong of me to beg her to shut up in her despair! She claims me cold for not realizing the pain I'm putting her through. Sure it's true I don't understand why she cries. Here I thought we were having fun. Maybe she thought she too could trap me in a relationship from which I spite. If I don't replace this once submissive and quaint dove I'm sure to go mad. She no longer entices me and fills my greed of admiration instead she drowns me with complaints because of her need for compassion.
At the party, we met at she was bold and ready to dive into the unknowns of this world. She excited me, never have I met someone who could reach my level. Someone brave enough to do the unthinkable things ordinary people would be scared of but her a 4" 11 saint was ready to risk it all. Now I realize it was the heavy alcohol that betrayed my thinking, fooling me into believing there was someone on my level. I must have been really drunk to believe that madness. There is no one like me. No one is bigger or better than me. There is only me.
Actually, I blame her looks for deceiving me. She looked a lot like my mother displayed all the same qualities as her and I suppose that drew me in. She isn't all that bad, just doesn't know when to shut up. I would stifle her with my pillow but then my pillow would reek of death plus who am I to end a life if I haven't carried one on this earth.
My aim isn't to bring harm or belittle myself but rather to bring my issues to the mirror for the world to hear and see. I can't change the person I have become. Truth be told, I had no control over the person I was becoming. I don't desire sympathy for my sickening illness but rather that you be understanding that this was not my intent. Perhaps blame my dark and shallow heart that is being controlled by the devil himself.
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