I’ve been wronged.
I met her at her lowest and she met me at my best. Life was going great, everything was going great till she ran into my life, bulldozed my walls, and landed in my heart.
Once she came, I knew she was trouble. Trouble, I didn't need, trouble, I couldn't handle or tame. Call her a wild beast trying to attack anyone she meets with pure happiness in their heart. I should have ran before she broke me to the point of no return. To the point where I no longer knew myself, for I was lost. While she gained happiness I grew into sadness. There were no longer smiles and laughter. The worst part is I allowed her to get that far. I allowed her to dig her claws deep within my skin. I allowed her to torment my soul and put me in extreme agony. I allowed her in!
Her smile tricked others into games they wouldn't win. Games they couldn't win but choose to enter. She had the power to turn minds and gain control of their decisions. She knew where to find your weaknesses and attack as soon as she did. I made the mistake of thinking I could share my happiness with her. That I could build her up so that her smile would last longer but I learned the hard way that I had to give all of myself to her in order for her happiness to be restored. That's how much she required!
Thinking of her makes my head hurt and wonder how I got this far. Looking in the mirror I saw someone dying inside, someone who needed to be loved because all the love for themselves had disappeared. Everything she took from me never was truly satisfying. Never truly done taking. All that was mine was hers. I couldn't fight back anymore, not that I did at all. I couldn't because I was too scared she'd diminish what was left of me. Nothing but bones and flesh.
No longer could I breathe without her presence near. That's how much she has taken from me! Anger is not what I feel but betrayed. She walked with me hand in hand into a lion's den deceiving me that she somehow needed saving when she was the lion in the den. Beautiful eyes that could deceive the nation. Filled with ocean blue and a hint of green and dark brown hazelnut. Her eyes were intoxicating one look and you were done.
My friends knew the power she had over me and no one saved me. No one even tried rescuing me from her wrecking. They all just looked and watched as I was becoming nothing. Losing all ties to myself and the person I once was. Memories of the past flash through my head as I remember a world where I was always busy playing some varsity sport, chasing down girls, going to parties, and living the good life. All that seemed super distant and far from recent.
I dreamed she would disappear from my nightmare and clowns would take her place. Maybe then I would laugh. I hope no one runs willingly into her space or else they'll get squashed and trampled over. Why would someone that seems so dark do so much harm? That's because they love the thrill. I'm a game to her. How long will I last before my time runs out? Her bet was 2 months and I'm almost there. My body is giving up and this is all too much to take. Maybe in the next place, she won't be there, maybe she'll never get a chance to enter.
Maybe my smile will reappear and remain on my face. Maybe in another life, I'll be happy again. Be the person I used to be. Be consumed by love and never see a terror like her again. Become a famous footballer and travel the 7 seas. In another life that is who I want to be.
I've been wronged and so has she.
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