My daughter.

Who is a father meant to be, what are they meant to represent? I keep asking myself that question over and over again and I only come to one conclusion: they are meant to be their sons and daughter's first example of who a man is to be. I guess you could call me a minimalist. All I've ever wanted was my father's love. To me, it doesn't seem like a big ask. Parents are meant to be there for their children no matter what! They did carry us into this world so it's their job to stay and put in the work to build us into great human beings, not tear us down before we get a chance to live. The letter found below contains the words I wished I heard but never received.

Dear 𝐃𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫,

       Looking back at my life I'm not proud of the person I was. I'm disappointed that I couldn't be the person you needed me to be. I wish I could love you but how do you love someone that wasn't meant to exist? How do I accept you as my daughter when you weren't meant to be? You are a beautiful light waiting to conquer this world and when you do I'll be watching. I know I've let you down, I didn't show up for you like I did for my other children but I love you all equally the same. Despite my mistake. Don't allow your heart to grow cold because I broke it. Let it shine as brightly as the sun. I wish I had given you these words while I was here but you know me I'm stubborn. I heard we somehow have that in common. I hope you achieve all your wildest dreams and stop pushing people away that are just simply trying to help. I may have not been the father you wanted and hoped for but-, I was about to make an excuse for myself but you deserve more than excuses. The truth is you weren't a part of my plan, I didn't want you. I tried to make you disappear but you weren't meant to be hidden. I was a coward for not giving you the chance to see me at my best and be the best for you. I hope someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me for not accepting you as my own. I know you have a lot of questions that need an answer but for now, I can't give you indefinite answers. I love you even though you may not believe me. I've taken time to reflect and now I see how things could have and should have been done differently. Continue to be the best version of yourself and never allow your heart to grow cold. 


Love,

𝑫𝒂𝒅



Written by Aja' Allen

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