The Rain
The girl that cries alone looks out her window dreaming of a world where she's whole. A world with sunshine and rainbows. A perfect world that should not, could not, and would not exist. She liked the rain, why? Because she and the rain had something in common, the rain sheds tears and so does she. She's not perfect but let's be honest none of us are. She sees and knows her flaws and the rain knows his too. His tears are glorified because after a rainbow appears. After a storm there's calm. This girl sees no seize of her sufferings; they just seem to continue and multiply. Does the rain truly become destruction, if after its wrath there's light? Bright colors pigment the sky. It's not raining outside today if it were, you would find the girl outside soaking up the rain. She likes the rain. Because the rain has a continuous cycle it never stops happening, but it does. Kind of like her. The rain can't judge her because they're the same. The rain's bold though it allows the world to see him at its weakest. As usual, she's home alone. Room Empty yet Full. She's been in this corner for a while now. The sun hasn't even graced her luscious face. Out in the distance, she grabs a hold of something that wasn't there before, hope. Yet, she holds it in her palms; it's nothing but a distant fleeting thing. And just like that, it disappeared. She isn't mad or upset, she's gotten used to losing. Her mother now walks in complaining about how her bleaching will affect her hair from ever growing again but they both know why her hair won't grow again.
Truth be told, it could be any day now, she didn't get why she was being punished by God and her parents and her doctors. Had they no faith in her? I suppose she neither had any faith in herself. She turns away from her mother looking back through the window where she seems to see hope jumping about in her backyard garden. She gets up and walks outside completely unaware that she has risen as she's about to open the door she collapses onto the floor motionless. Empty yet full. The only thing that was on her mind was if the little ounce of hope in her backyard had now disappeared for good.
No one seemed to hear her fall at first but soon enough her mother came rushing in completely and utterly exaggerated as usual once again complaining about how fragile and frail her bones were. She gently lifts her up by the waist and places her in her room. Due to her condition, she became lightweight, something that would eventually blow away. Her mother looks into her deep blue eyes with just a slight drop of tears. She quickly wipes it away. She wants to be strong for her 'butterfly', the child that would soon leave her nest and fly far far away.
"Mommy, Mommy could you stop the crying already, I'm here aren't I?" Maybe she caught hold of the hope after all. "Yes, butterfly you are". She quickly regains her posture and gathered herself and left the room closing the door. The girl once again was left alone. You would think they would stay with her all the time and cherish the time they had together but no daddy was at work and Mommy was far too busy crying. Did I mention she has a brother on the way? She's hoping her brother will somehow fill up her space. They will name him "Rain" because of my love for the rain. I wouldn't allow them to name the child Ásh after me. That would just be absurd. My name is unique and I don't want him to have it. I don't want him to be too much like me, I want him to have his own identity but carry me along with him wherever he goes. I have been laying in this bed for hours left alone with my thoughts. It seems my parents have forgotten that I'm not to be left unattended. When I'm alone bad things always seem to happen. It seems I must be calling bad upon myself because just now I had a sharp pain in my side that felt like knives just jabbing at me repeatedly.
At first, I tried to keep quiet accepting that this was now my time after 3 false alarms last time but then my whole body started to shake uncontrollably and heat up. "This was it, I was going to die!" I shouted, I screamed no one seemed to hear me was I not speaking. I thought I was! I screamed once again trying to get my mom's attention but no one seemed to hear me! Have I possibly gone mute? I'll be damned my voice went away. When you die time seems to move extremely slow. I don't know why it took me so long to transition to the other side. I just wanted relief, to no longer be in pain.
It was what I craved, so I accepted my destiny but just as I was about to complete my transition my mom had came to check on me but by this time I was already gone. I left knowing they would be just fine. Sure they cried and all. If my parents didn't I would be extremely disappointed but guess who was my and their saving grace, "Rain." He seemed to be just like me, matter of fact he was my exact replica, confident, self assured and silent without cause. He grew up to be far more than either of us anticipated. He was able to comfort our parents, bring joy into their lives. He had fulfilled his purpose for me. Once I realized my parents no longer felt my absence, I was there and no one could tell them otherwise, I was relieved. But before I chose to leave the earth for good I decided to meet up with my friend Rain, the one that knew me through and through. He had only one thing to say to me "when you looked out the window you weren't searching for hope and you didn't find it either but death" and I smiled because he knew. This isn't meant to be a sad story but a happy one and with that I say goodbye.
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