Aja's Serenity

Everything is useless no matter what I do. There's no point in refusing you. Makes me forget everything I do because I know that's all I'm meant to do. I can't take care of my own family. I'm a useless drunk on the verge of dying. I pressure my wife and disregard my child yet I find myself wanting to be a family. Doing what I see on the screen and laughing at what we find funny.  But with how I am, I'm not going to reach very far. It's not that I hate you, it's just I can't express myself very well. What does it mean to be a family? I'm no woman but I hate looking at my body, seeing my scars and all the things that make me who I am. It's not fair how I was given this and how I am now, I didn't do anything to deserve his yet I find myself in the same situation every day.  My Daughter wants my love and I want to give it to her but no one taught me any better so how am I supposed to truly show her that  I care. Who knew children would be so ...

Mom was wrong  Dad says I shouldn't cry cause men are meant to be warriors and the crying should be left to our wives.  Mom says I'm to provide and make sure my family's alright.  Dad says my work will be my best friend and I suppose that seems fine. Mom says I'm to be my wife's rock and shouldn't allow her to fall.  Dad says missing family time is quite alright cause after all he needs to provide. Mom says to help around the house and never leave my family alone.   Daddy says life's not easy when you're in charge of all the hard decisions. Mommy says love cures all wounds and together we're stronger. 12 years later and all I got was confusion.  I say crying is fine, it shows that I'm willing to portray my true emotions. Crying shouldn't be left to my wife.  Mommy said we're stronger together and I'm to be my wife's rock. Daddy said I'm to provide and miss family time while mommy said I'm to provide and make sure my family...

  Passion is a scary thing when lust is involved When desire is greater than love When love is fueled by hatred When the relationship is run by anger  Mathew the man of my dreams is my kryptonite and I am his dynamite. In all honesty, people call us crazy because our love is different and it challenges people to speak their minds, to release their anguish.  I stab him in the back and tell him he's worthless and each time he believes me. I say that's love because every time I push him to the floor he comes crawling back desperately wanting to clench to my chest.  I'm not the bad guy, just a sad girl who didn't know any better. Mathew isn't perfect like glass. His words hit my soul. His words cause fires to blaze in my heart, not in a good way. He drags me by the hair and smashes my head into walls but that's how he shows his love.  Over time we realized just how much hurt we had caused, how much damage we had inflicted upon one another. I couldn't go out any ...